i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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