Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
