watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
