you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
