Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
