i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
