She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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