How'd it feel making her break her religion?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
