; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
