I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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