so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
How external is "for external use only"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize