I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
