i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
