I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
