we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
