do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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