i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
