were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Let's paint friendship bongs
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
