heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
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Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
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Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
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