my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
