everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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