yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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