I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He felt like a one man threesome
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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