Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
