got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
