she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
