we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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