I haven't been this sober since birth.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Panties = found
Randomize
