Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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