apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
