if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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