i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
