i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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