Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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