just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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