Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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