yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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