So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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