I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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