soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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