its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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