Me too!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
