Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize