Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
