Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
