she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am naked and annoyed.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
