the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
