He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
