Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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