just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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