I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
