Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
