I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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