:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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