i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
