I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
