my sisters under your porch take her home
Everything about him screamed your future.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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