do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
