no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
