If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
