You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
