shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
