I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize