Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
