the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
