is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
