i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
