I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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