check it out our google latitudes are spooning
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
