i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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