When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
